Snow White

 

Cast List:

 

Snow White                Beautiful, gentle daughter of the King’s first marriage

King                            An eccentric amateur cosmologist

Wicked Queen                        Totally egocentric and amoral

Sir Simon Bowel         Beauty Contest Judge, rude, unfeeling and conceited

Page                            Just a walk-on part

Sergeant at Arms        Incredibly old, feeble and doddery

Mirror                          Isn’t technology wonderful?

2 Guards                     One stupid …. and the other even more so

Seven Dwarfs             The real thing from fantasy, NOT small humans - and none of them have names that Disney corp. can claim as their own

Handsome Prince        Preferably with long fishnet clad legs and a winning smile

MC                              Perfect teeth and a ready store of cliches

Beauty contestants      Pretty but not terribly bright

 

Synopsis:

 

The Queen enters beauty contests constantly – and wins, but when her mirror chooses Snow White she sends the guards to kill her young rival.

The guards release Snow White in the forest, but the mirror tells the truth and they are sent to finish the job.  They find Snow White protected by the dwarfs and hatch a plan to get her away.  They plan to get her voted out of the ‘Little Brother’ house and into their clutches, but the dwarfs are having none of it.

The Queen loses patience and does the job herself, using a poisoned apple.  She knows nothing about the handsome prince who is beginning a quest to find his princess in the forest.

The King’s privately built spacecraft is almost ready, and made giddy by the promises of universal fame awaiting the first pilot, the Queen snatches the helmet from Guard2 and rockets off into the void.  He is left holding the Craft Course Reversal Mechanism, (the steering wheel!)

The Prince saves Snow White from the deadly fruit’s thrall and takes her back to the palace where the King abdicates and the new King and Queen embark on a long reign full of joy and justice.