Dame Widdecombe - the landlady of the Admiral Portillo
Jim - her son and our hero
Captain Skint - a retired sea-captain with a valuable secret
Mr Biggs - a five foot ten inch tall parrot with an East End accent
Hook-handed Harry - a rather dim matelot
Black-hearted Kevin - Harry’s companion
Cut-throat Colin - a member of the pirate crew
Poop deck Pete - another pirate
Squire Winton - the local gentry, he owns the Dame’s inn
Nigella - the Squire’s beautiful daughter
Bald Pew - scurvy on two legs
Doctor Trembley - erstwhile ship’s surgeon on the Isle of Wight ferry
Captain Hamilton RN - Smooth, suave and sea-wise
Long John Archer - don’t believe a word this man says ….
Bob - the ship’s carpenter
‘Esitant ‘Enry - cleaner of the ship’s ‘eads (toilets, to you landlubbers)
Ben Blunderbus - a castaway with a strange yearning for cheese
Chief Dyson - village head man and local inventor
Kiri - chief’s daughter & sweetheart from Long John’s youth
A Giant Octopus - it’s behind you!
Note – the bare minimum for scenery is three sets – the inn, the ship’s deck and the island. Different locations on the island can be contrived by sharing the backcloth and swapping around moveable items like a boat, or maybe some rocks or bushes.
Captain Skint & Bald Pew only appear in the first act and ‘Enry & Ben only appear in the second, so if you’re short of actors ….
Synopsis:
At The Admiral Portillo, Captain Skint entrusts Jim with a treasure map before his untimely demise, brought on by receipt of the black spot.
Pursued by Skint’s vengeful old pirate crew, our hero, with all his friends, sets out to find the treasure which will save his mother from the poor-house. Nigella, disguised as a cabin boy, decides to go along and look after him.
After an eventful voyage and a mutiny led by Long John, they arrive at the island. There they encounter the local inhabitants, including Kiri, the love of Long John’s youth, Chief Dyson, a crazy inventor and the strange, cheese-obsessed Ben Blunderbus.
An octopus levels the odds by attacking the mutineers and a defeated Long John decides to give up the sea and settle down with Kiri in her idyllic island home.
Ben eventually guides Jim to the treasure and a happy ending is assured.